Saturday, October 01, 2005

Tips for setting boundaries

Your feelings of anger, rage, complaining, whining, and feeling threatened, "suffocated" or victimized serve as clues to boundaries which you will need to set. Whenever you see these clues, you should realize that you need to set a boundary or limit with someone. Whenever this is necessary, make sure that you set your boundaries clearly, without anger and in as few words as possible. You must realize that you may hurt, anger or disappoint the other person BUT you simply cannot simultaneously set a limit with someone and take care of their feelings too. Of course this may cause you to feel shame or fear but you really must be prepared to follow through by acting according to the boundaries that you have set. You WILL be tested! That is why it is so important to have a good support system for yourself. All of this is going to take you some time, but when you're truly ready, you'll set the boundaries that you need for your life. Once you do it, you'll see how truly good it honestly feels though.

=^..^= Reverend Brenda Hoffman
Independent Executive
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"Shoot for the moon and if you miss you will still be among the stars." - Les Brown (American Songwriter, 1912-2001)

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