Saturday, September 17, 2005

Setting boundaries

Setting boundaries for yourself shows that you have enough respect for yourself to protect yourself from inappropriate behavior. Here are some guidelines to help you set boundaries for yourself:

(1.) You must first realize that the purpose of setting a boundary is to take care of you, to gain a sense of self, supply order, and allow feelings, thoughts and actions that are healthy. You have to be able to tell other people when they're acting in ways that are not acceptable to you.

(2.) When you have a sense of self, you'll be able to experience closeness and intimacy. You'll be able to love and to be loved in a healthy way. You'll respect and love yourself.

(3.) You MUST set limits that you can live with and consequences that you are willing to enforce.

(4.) You are not to set boundaries in order to manipulate others. Boundaries are not about power. They're about safety and self-respect.

(5.) There are many alternatives and options in setting boundaries. For instance, some boundaries may be more rigid than others.

(6.) You may be afraid to set boundaries to take care of yourself because you may fear abandonment. In this case you should really seek professional help.

With this being said, it is important to understand that boundaries should be: specific, reasonable, personal, enforceable, natural, and logical. This means that there should be NO: threatening, bluffing, violence, shouting, judging, or moralizing. Some of the types of boundaries that you'll need to create are physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual.


=^..^= Reverend Brenda Hoffman
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"Shoot for the moon and if you miss you will still be among the stars." - Les Brown (American Songwriter, 1912-2001)


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2 Comments:

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At 11:16 AM, Blogger Jess said...

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