Myths and Facts

Myth: Victims of domestic violence like to be beaten.
Fact:Victims desperately want the abuse to end. They engage in various survival strategies to protect themselves and their children (ie calling the police and/or seeking help from family members) Another strategy is silence (ie taking a beating to keep the batterer from attacking the children).

Myth: Victims have psychological disorders or they would not take the abuse.
Fact: While some victims do suffer from psychological effects (ie post traumatic stress disorder or depression), it is as a result of being abused.

Myth:Victims never leave their abusers and if they do, they just get involved in another abusive relationship.
Fact:
Most victims try leaving their abusive relationships, often several times, but the abusers often convince the victim to stay through various strategies including: financial control, threats about the children, and promises that the relationship will get better.

Myth: Low self-esteem causes victims to get involved in abusive relationships.
Fact: Victims usually experience a decrease in self-esteem as a result of being abused, since abusers frequently degrade, humiliate, and criticize victims.

Myth: Batterers abuse their partners/spouses because of alcohol or drug abuse.
Fact:While substance abuse may increase the frequency or severity of the violent episodes in some cases, it doesn't cause the abuse.

Myth: Batterers abuse their partners because they are under a lot of stress or unemployed.
Fact:Since domestic violence is found throughout all socioeconomic levels, it cannot be attributed to unemployment or poverty.

Myth: Law enforcement and judicial responses (ie arresting batterers or issuing a civil protection order) are useless.
Fact: The entire criminal justice and civil systems must work together to be effective (ie law enforcement officers make the arrest, prosecutors prosecute the case, and courts enforce orders and impose sanctions).

Myth: Children are not affected by domestic abuse.
Fact: 50-70% of the children, whose parent is domestically abused, are also being physically abused. Children also suffer emotional, behavioral, and developmental impairments as a result of witnessing domestic violence in the home. Some of these children (especially boys) will grow up to repeat the same pattern.

Myth: Domestic violence is irrelevant to parental fitness.
Fact: A history of domestic violence can indicate that the perpetrating parent physically or emotionally abuses the child as well as the other parent. Abusers also frequently use the children as pawns to continue to control the other parent. This use of control undermines the abuser’s ability to parent because the primary concern isn't about the child.


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